National Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month
Posted by abby on February 5, 2010
I don’t know about you, but I remember high school with vivid clarity even though I graduated what seems like a million years ago. Drama club, Choir, Colorguard, boys…sigh. High School was fun. One of my favorite months of the year was February because of Valentine’s Day. Being the hopeless romantic that I always have been, I looked forward to it with a passion. I couldn’t wait to see if I’d get roses from a secret admirer or be asked out by my secret crush- the biggest nerd in the drama club.
Call me naive, but dating in high school seemed very innocent. I was a “good girl,” but still I didn’t know many girls at all who had gone all the way with their boyfriends or even had a serious boyfriend at all. It seemed like we were all just trying to get our first kiss. We hadn’t even imagined anything bigger than that.
Honestly, I was probably rather sheltered. It could be argued that teenage sexuality has become less restrained over the last 11 years, but I don’t pretend to believe now that none of my friends were experimenting with more adult forms of relationships. Perhaps because I was so sheltered, I don’t recall ever talking with my parents about dating violence. Maybe if I had known about it I could have noticed the signs earlier when I did actually get into an abusive relationship shortly after high school. I don’t blame my parents at all. They were probably operating on the same belief that I was- high school relationships are not very serious.
Unfortunately, this isn’t true. Whether or not more girls than ever before are getting into relationships, they are definitely serious. According to the , “1 in 4 teen girls in a relationship report enduring repeated verbal abuse” and “1 in 3 teens report being text messaged 10, 30, 40 times per hour by a partner inquiring where they are, what they are doing or who they are with.” These are definitely hallmarks of mental, emotional and verbal abuse. I would hasten to say that teenagers know that it is wrong to be hit by your partner, but we don’t necessarily know the early warning signs like possessive jealousy or cruel joking. Dating violence usually starts this way whether you are a teenager or an adult. Most often he won’t punch you on your first date. It is more difficult than many people know to escape once it has gone so far.
February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and now Valentine’s Day takes on a whole new meaning for me. You can bet I’ll be talking with the young girl that I mentor about the warning signs as well as about what she can do to help her friends to learn about this important issue. Will you also commit to talking with any teenagers in your life?
Until we have mandatory healthy relationships classes in every high school,
Abby